Does anyone else wish their mouth had auto correct. So in case if a super attractive person talks to you one day, you don’t say something stupid like: “omg please get in my bed naked right now!” And if they respond weirdly you could say “oh stupid auto correct. I meant I liked your shirt.”
Is it just me or whenever you don’t have money, your friends want to go to the mall. But then when you do have money, no one wants to go the mall.
One time I was sitting on my bed and happened to look over to see a spider crawling on my wall. Immediately I grabbed the nearest object and squished the spider with it. I saw it fall down the wall and land on the ground and I started crying for 10 minutes. If that doesn’t explain a period, I don’t know what does.
Okay so while I was using the bathroom, my foot fell asleep. When I tried to walk, I fell flat on my face with my foot immovable. Fml.
I was watching a tv show and the host on the show was closing it and he said goodnight. Next thing I know, I hear my dad in the kitchen say “goodnight and big balls.” I’ve never laughed so hard in my life.
While on my way home, I tooted while in the car. A few seconds later my sister asked “what’s that smell?” Me knowing she was talking about my toot, I replied with “victory.” The look on her face was priceless.